delayed ng isang buwan

may isang babae ang humahangos papunta sa isang duktor, dala ang isang sanggol.

doc: sa tsupon ba siya pinapainom ng gatas?
babae: sa dede po.

ineksamen ng duktor ang dede ng babae at piniga.

doc: ah, kaya siya may sakit. wala ka nang gatas!
babae: doc, yaya po ako! yaya!

May namimili ng Havaianas sa 168 Mall..

Customer: may lead ba 'to?

Intsik: melon led yan!

Customer: merong lead to?

Intsik: oo melon led yan madami..

Customer: diba bawal itinda yan may lead?

Intsik: makit masama ba led? melon pa nga diyan olange, gleen at yellow!! ikaw alis niluluki mo akyen negosyo!!

andrew4378 wrote:

hanapin mu naiiba sa picture na to pls

http://www.tekzoned.com/twophotos/

yan po ung picture

waaaaaaaaa gulat ako
kakatakot
seryoso pa man din ako :roll:

NICE STOOL

makaihi ka kaya pag ganito

andrew4378 wrote:

:grinny: naka 7pages na pla ako :grinny:

.....................uu partner dami nah..

.......kaya muh yan 100 pages hehehehe..........

Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines ?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines ? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
_____


Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
_____


Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contes tant : If others can't why, why can't I!
_____


Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
_____


Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
_____


Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up.
_____



Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
_____


Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
_____


Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
_____


Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
_____


Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
_____


Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
_____


Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
_____


Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk???

sshhhh, it happens

Top Business Names

1. Parlor in San Juan is named "Cut & Face".

2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas: "Starduck".

3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: "Violybee"

4. Internet cafe opened among squatters named "Cafe Pindot".

5. In Manila , there's a laundry named, "Summa Cum Laundry".

6. Petshop in Ortigas: "Pussies and Bitches".

7. A pet shop in Kamuning: "Pakita Mo Pet Mo".

8. Bakery: "Bread Pit".

9. Bank in Alabang: "Alabank".

10. Restaurant in Pampanga named, "Mekeni Rogers".

11. Restaurant in Pasig : "Johnny's Fried Chicken: The 'Fried' of Marikina".

12. A gym: "Blow Jab".

13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: "Lito Lapida".

14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village called "Pakopya ni Edgar".

15. A beerhouse in Cavite called, "Chickpoint" .

16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: " Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes".

17. Internet cafe in Taguig named, "n@kopi@".

18. Name of a kambingan, "Sa Goat Kita".

19. A salon somewhere, "Curl Up And Dye".

20. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: "Gee Congee".

21. A water refilling station in Dapitan named "Wa-Thirst".

22. A store selling feeds for chickens: "Robocock".

23. Shoe repair in Marikina : "Dr. Shoe-Bago".

24. Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, "SHOEPERMAN: we will HEEL you,

save your SOLE, and even DYE for you".

25. Petshop: "Petness First"

26. Flower shop: "Susan's Roses".

27. Taxicab: "Income Taxi".

28. A 2nd hand watch store: "2nd Time Around".

29. A squid stall in a wet market: "Pusit to the Limit".

30. A shrimp store: "Hipon Coming Back".

31. A gay lawyer's extension office: " Nota Republic ".

32. A ceiling installer: " Kisame Street ".

33. A car repair shop: "Bangga ka 'day?"

34. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: "Fish Be With You".

35. A fishball cart named, "Poke Poke".

36. A beauty salon: "Saudia Hairlines".

37. A bakery: "Anak Ng Tinapay".

38. A resto along Mayon road in Manila : "May Lisa Eatery".

39. Laundry shop: "Wash Your Problem".

40. This mobile massage business name isn't funny, but

their slogan is: "Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is

watching".

41. Ice cream parlor: "Dila Lang Ang Katapat".

42. Chicharon store: "Chicha Hut".

43. Neighborhood pizza store: "Pizza Hot".

44. A fishball cart near UST: "Eat My Balls".

45. A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: "Pinoy Big Barber".

46. A Resto: "The Last Supper".

47. A goto resto: "Goto Ko Pa!"

48. A peanut vendor's cart with a funny name: "Mani ni Papa".

49. A gym in Malolos: " Gaymann Fitness Center ".

50. My brother's party needs business: "Balloon-Balloonan" .

51. A Chinese restaurant in Pasig : "Lah-Fang".

52. A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: "Dina Fresh

Chicken".

53. An actual bait and tackle shop in U.S. : "The Master Baiter".

54. Panaderia: "Trimonay Bakeshop".

55. Salon: "Hair Dot Comb".

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!






A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given
some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets
president Bill Clinton...

The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when
you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'How r u'.."
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'.
Afterwards we, translators, will do thework for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is....

When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'Who
r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed
to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'Me too, ha-ha.....

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room!!!!!!

:roll: me too daw hahahaha