At some point of your life how you wish you can turn back the hands of time to retract everything. Realization comes at end and yes, it is my biggest mistakes and I come to realize that mistakes are not rooted in my action, never had a faith to fight in the name of our love. But two people can change overnight; I know that I’ve never been there for her. But honestly never knew how? I know that one day I’ll be there for her when you needed me the most.

The honest truth that night is that I was going through the hardest time of my life. Here I was on Saturday night, I was panicking, I was scared, I didn’t know what to do and she weren’t there for me. The one time that I absolutely needed her by my side. I never told anyone about that night because they probably would have thought that I was crazy or something. I was in pretty bad shape.

I sat in my room just thinking all night long that I had made the biggest mistake in my life by leaving my girl behind for the work in abroad, here I am aged, no perfect girl, and I do something like nobody cares, but when I returned my perfect girl was no where around she was in the fancy club stripping. Though she tried all she could to get hold of me, she wondered if something was wrong, she wondered if it was her, if she had done something wrong, she wondered of her boyfriend insensitivity, Yes, I could not be the best boyfriend I would have failed to put up with everything but I am sure of one thing, that I love her more than anything, I would give her all the love that she ever needed, though I haven’t proved anything yet other than being a jerk.

Probably there could be a hundred and one ways to deal with what had gone though. But you know us and how I usually deal with my problems. That night was looking for a score goal as my solitude. I thought of all the good things in my life and the one thing I wanted most I couldn’t have. Oh! How I wished of her love at that moment her affection, her sweet voice telling me softer that everything will be alright to have me in her arms holding me so tight that as if she won’t let me go as I let out all of my emotions. As I wiped away those tears that I cried I found myself in other’s arms truly, realization comes at the end and now I find myself trying to figure out everything why I would do something so out of character.

Of the entire thing in this messed up world, I chose the thing that would take away the trust we ever had between us. I thought that we would be together forever. I had everything planned out; on the perfect night I would lay it all on the line and propose to her. After a romantic dinner we would take a walk along the beach and at the right moment, take a knee, grasp your hand, slide on the metal bond that would forever be ours and ask you to be his wife. But I never knew that this job would change me so much. I never knew it would turn my world upside-down without feelings, without passion, without the charisma that I had once. I remember breaking through the crowd and I saw you smiling but had tears in your eyes, two (2) years of anticipation, two (2) years of loneliness all stolen away by that single moments.

I fell in love with her all over again, and I could not explain why I treated her the way that I did at once dinner. The next day I looked for a wedding ring all by myself, she were not by my side, I knew that was something that I had to do on my own. When I came home that night that’s when it all began. How I wished that she could have been there for me; things would have been a lot different. I know the mistakes and all the promises that I have made in the past. But that was the confused little boy. And it took me forever to figure out what I had done and closer thorns in our hearts.
Its time we have to realize that we are both adults and can handle a mature relationship. She probably ready for one, a long time ago. But I never know how real our love was. Everything has its own time. I am glad we have reached the end of childlike thoughts, both of us, probably, can handle now more matured relationship.

I can sit and write stupid letters and tell her how much I have changed but until we see each other, then there is no way for me to tell. She was the first girl that I have ever loved that pulls me back just as much, though somehow it scares me. But once again we should sit down and talk. Let us learn from the past one of the things that we missed in our relationship was communication and that’s easy to fix. I remember times that I could have treated her a lot better like at acquaintance party night, it was one of the biggest moments of my life and you took some of her time to go. And I didn’t sound as much time as I should have with you. I still remember all the good times that we shared together.

Maybe we moved too fast and never had the bond that we needed that is why when I came home I want to spend sometime with her, but only if you want to spend time with me. If all things will go fine then maybe we’ll even go on a date, movies, dinner, kiss the whole nine yards, but you will have to tell me that we are going on a date. I want to take things slow and precocious. I don’t want to rush the process of healing those wounds that we have suffered, but the search for each other heart still goes on. If I haven’t made a total ass out of myself by now, I don’t think I ever will. There is too much at risk too much to lose, if we were part ways now. I know now that we need to become friends before lovers so this is our last chance at what we owe each other, and that is our hearts, and mind is open now. I know that we have a long way to go but it’s going to be hard to mend all of these but if we search hard enough we will find each other hearts again.