A Filipino, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol
> which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime
> they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
>
>
> As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's
> my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of
> you one wish before your whipping."
>
> The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
> "Please tie a pillow to my back."
>
> This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to
> be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
>
>
> The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
> smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
>
> But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also
> led away whimpering loudly.
>
>
> The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
> Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part
> of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For
> this, you may have two wishes!"
>
> "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino
> replied.
>
> "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
> 20, but 100 lashes."
>
> "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
> very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
>
> "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
>
> "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
>
> Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
>
>
> ****************** The End ******************
>
> "TEACHER: Class draw a fish..!
> CLASS: Yes ma'am!
> TEACHER: Pedro, why is ur drawing very dirty..?
> PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."
>
>
> "Pulis at Intsik:
> Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may namatay na pulis.
> Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay
> oke.."
>
>
> "PASYENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako! First operation ko po ito. . .
> DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong
> pasyente"
>
>
> Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
> Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?
> Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel ko, baka sabihin ni titser,
> nagkopyahan tayo
>
>
> "WIFE: maghiwalay na tayo!
> MAN: ok,akin ang bahay!
> WIFE: akin ang farm!
> MAN: akin ang kotse!
> WIFE: ah pero akin driver
> MAN: pwes, magkakamatayan tyo, MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!"
>
>
> "Mrs: hoy!Tama na yang beer mo masyado ka magastos
> Mr: Ikaw make-up mo ang magastos
> Mrs: Nagpapaganda ako para syo
> Mr: Ako umiinom naman para gumanda ka!"
>
>
> "May bagong kasal:
> MRS: Honey malapit na tayong maging 3 dito sa bahay
> MR: Talaga honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo
> MRS: Oo dito na titira ang nanay ko!"
>
>
> REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na
> po ang next step ninyo??
> Police: DNA na...
> REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
> Police: "Di Namin Alam "
>
>
> "Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
> Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
> Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"
>
>
> A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy..
> BABY: Does this mean I am an angel???
> FAIRY: (laughs) of course not! tong negrang to! ambisyosa! PANIKI ka!!
>
>
> In a party, a handsome guy approached a girl and asked; are you going to
> dance??
> The girl felt so happy that someone finally asked her and she said;
> "yes" and the guys said "that's good, can I have your chair??"
>
>
> "Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
> ANAK: Tay ! Krus! Ang laking krus!
> TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"
>
>
> Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager
> natin na kamamatay lang?
> Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung
> papayag ang punerarya :)
>
>
> bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
> bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
> bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!
>
> Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
> Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
> Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am
> yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!
>
> Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator:
> Bush: "Lets help one another..."
> Erap: "Tayo'y magtulungan. .."
> Bush: "...let's strive together..."
> Erap: "...tayo'y magsikap..."
> Bush: "...because in union there is strength."
> Erap: "...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!"
>
> Bongbong -- Pare sinong idol mo?
> Chavit--Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
> Bongbong-- Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
> Chavit --Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.
>
> Erap writing on a slum book:
> Favorite Actor:
> Arnold Scharzene... ... (erase)
> Arnold Schwarze... ... (erase)
> Arnold Schwarzz... ... (erase)
> Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)
> Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)
> Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase)
> Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
> Arnold Clavio
>
> Pare 1: Pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka
>
> Pare 2: Madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo (pare 1 sinundot
> ang tonsils ..)
>
> Pare 1: Di pa rin e Pare 2: Hmmmmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo (pare 1
> sinundot
> ang pwet ...)
>
> Pare 1: Wala pa rin
>
> Pare 2: Ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ... pag hindi ka pa
> masuka nyan ewan ko na!
>
>
> Holduper: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
> Biktima: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!
>
> Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa
> bang napupusuan?
> Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
> (nyahahahaha! )
>
> Sa isang mumurahing airline:
> Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
> Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
> Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.
Subject: Tawa ulit 
Mon Feb 02 2009, 00:42
